The Domino Effect
by sour-skittle13
Summary: Just when things started getting bad, she was back. Ready to take on the world and show it that messing with Olivia Benson was a bad idea. ch.1-Cragen's POV ch. 2-Elliot's POV ch. 3-Olivia's POV (some language)
1. Hiding in the Shadows

Disclaimer: They aren't mine, if they were i would be on a yacht right now instead of writing fanfiction.

A/N: this is in Cragen's POV. if you didn't realize.

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The Domino Effect

Chapter 1

Hiding in the Shadows -

"Elliot, why don't you go home and get some rest!" I stared down at my best detective. On the outside, he was the same as always. Same sharp, blue eyes, same close-cropped hair, and same determination to land every perp on the New York Streets in jail. Only inside he wasn't the same and he hadn't been okay for about a year now.

No one at the 1-6 precinct really knows what happened to her. She'd been a key witness towards a dangerous guy and we all feared she'd go the same way as Alex Cabot, but Olivia refused protection. Her exact words were,

"Getting a detail lets him know I'm scared. If I'm scared, he wins!"

God we all wish we could make her take those words back.

I got the first call, since her mother was dead a couple of years and she had no family besides the unit, I was written as next of kin. Elliot got the second, only I called him, not the hospital. I don't remember much of my conversation with the doctors, simply the words, 'GSW, critical, surgery, and goodbye.' The last word could have meant that we should come say goodbye to her, or that he was hanging up the phone to dig through her stomach for the bullet.

When I talked to Elliot, I don't believe he said a single word to me, and I don't blame him. Telling someone that their partner is severely injured when they can do nothing about it is enough to rattle even the least emotional person. As soon as I had choked out the name of the hospital, I was talking to the dial tone.

Sitting in the hospital for four and a half hours was torture. Olivia is like my daughter and if something ever happened to her I would never forgive myself. Munch and Fin brought coffee for Elliot and I but neither of us could touch our cups. It was like a broken down record where it just keeps repeating the same few bars of music over and over again.

All I could wonder was if there was some way that I could have prevented this. That maybe somehow the situation we were in was my entire fault. As Captain, my job is to protect my detectives, not let them get attacked and killed. Of course she wasn't dead…yet.

She was moved to ICU and we were each allowed five minutes with her. I went first. I remember how pale her normally tanned skin looked, how it practically blended in with the white hospital sheets. Her dark hair was tousled and her eyes were shut tight, she looked peaceful and angelic dispite all the machines she was hooked up to. I sent a fervent prayer to the God I didn't believe in anymore to keep her safe and help her recover. I guess that wasn't good enough, even though I know that Elliot was sobbing and praying for her all night along with practically the entire staff of the hospital who had met her at some point in time.

I don't know how I did it, but I managed to fall asleep, worried thoughts, hospital chair, bad back and all. Munch and Fin had fallen asleep about an hour before I did, it wasn't that they didn't care about Olivia; I just threatened them with their jobs if they didn't stop arguing about why she was shot. With nothing else to appease the heavy silence they conked out. Elliot had vanished, probably standing in front of her room door and still praying.

When I woke it was to the sound of soft sobbing and the low voice of a doctor repeating his apologies over and over and offering condolences. My eyes snapped open, trying to adjust to the bright, yellowish light. Elliot was hunched against the wall, an arm thrown across his eyes, the doctor squatting in front of him. My mind started shouting profanities at everything and I raced towards my detective as fast as I could manage after a night in metal chairs.

The doctor turned to me, I couldn't finger his name. He had worked countless rape cases for us, helped Fin, Munch, Monique, hell, he had patched together nearly everyone in the unit. Elliot was still shuddering; I knelt beside him as well and pulled him into a fatherly hug, sensing bad news.

"Captain Cragen?" the doctor asked, I simply nodded.

"I'm so sorry." He placed a comforting arm on my shoulder; I found it odd considering that this man could be my son. I held back my tears, not allowing myself to cry. Elliot was her partner; partners were like blood, only their bond ran even deeper although they would never admit it.

"She's gone, isn't she?" I couldn't tell if I was talking or not, but the doctor nodded in response and I felt Elliot slump lower towards the ground, tears still coursing down his face through the light stubble on his cheeks.

It's odd that I can barely recall anything about the phone call from the hospital yet my conversation with the doctor is still as clear as though it were yesterday. I remember the burn behind my eyes as I fought back the tears, memories of Olivia both on and off the job flooded my mind. Elliot's body had started to shake of its own accord, he was gasping for breath and his pupils were dilating. The doctor jumped in to grab hold of him and told me to find a nurse. Elliot was having a seizure.

I found a blonde nurse wearing scrubs and she grabbed a pair of gloves and a long needle. When we returned to the waiting room, Elliot was lying on the floor. My chest clenched painfully, I had just lost one detective and I didn't need to lose her partner too. His body had stopped convulsing but his breathing was still coming in short, uneven gasps. The nurse's eyes widened when she saw my detective on the floor she handed the doctor the needle and knelt beside him, taking his hand in her own.

I was about to make some comment on inappropriate behavior towards a patient, but stopped when I took another look at the nurse. Damn it all to hell, of all the people I could have grabbed, it had to be the ex-Mrs. Stabler. Once he had gotten the shot, the doctor helped Elliot to a chair where he sat down and held his face in his hands. His eyes were bloodshot and I knew Kathy wanted to beat the story out of him. Munch and Fin had disappeared during the commotion so Elliot's ex had no way to know that everything had to do with Olivia, her arch-rival.

"Elliot, you are going to kill yourself over this, I'm going to grab you a glass of water!"

He started to shake his head at me but stopped when he felt a searing pain. Our eyes met and I tried to convey the need to get Kathy to follow me out of the waiting room. He waved me off with a couple words and a motioned for Kathy to follow me. She reluctantly did.

Thankfully she made sure we were out of earshot before she turned on my, beating answers from my brain and mouth. I tried to be careful about my answers knowing that part of the reason she left Elliot was because she was jealous of his partner.

"What happened?" she nailed the words through my ears.

"Elliot had a seizure," what is it about women that make you feel like a witness being cross-referenced?

"Why was he here in the first place?" she wasn't going to let me go with a short answer.

"We had a detective down, the whole unit came to she if our coworker was fine,"

Kathy's eyes looked sad, "I'm so sorry." She droned, "Is it Munch? Fin? Ms. Novak?" she hit every target but not the bulls eye.

"No Kathy," I made sure that my voice was calm, "It was Olivia." She caught my words before I even realized I had used the past tense.

She stared at me silently for a moment then slowly echoed my word, "was?"

I nodded.

"Olivia just died and Elliot had a break down." I felt a single tear slip and I clawed the others back.

"Oh" was all she said.

Elliot refused to take a new partner. He worked with either Munch or Fin, when they aren't together, or he does paperwork. Her desk is still exactly the same as it used to be, her coffee mug from the day before her shooting is still standing next to her phone. Her files, have all been copied so that the originals can stay where they were. None of us want to let go.

Elliot propped his feet up on his desk and closed the file he had been working on. It was an old one from about two months ago. It was Olivia's. I took it in my hands and opened it to the page Elliot had been reading. Jose Alvarez stared back at me and I felt the anger start deep inside my toes and work to my finger tips. Thank God he had been killed in a shoot out a couple months ago or I would have had to kill him myself, except that would involve beating Elliot to him.

"You know Cap," Elliot started, leaning his head back into his hands and narrowing his eyes into the infamous 'Stabler' look I had grown to respect. "I always held on to a shred of hope that she was alive. That she was in Witness Protection Program with Alex, and would come back when we caught the bastard who shot her. It's been a couple of months though and that little candle has all but burned out."

He sighed and hoisted himself out of his chair and offered me a half smile.

"I used to tell myself the same thing." I'm trying to comfort him but I can tell it's not working. "Meet me at O'Malley's for drinks at 8" I knew we both need some time to unwind, a couple of drinks and some loud music used to do the trick, hopefully it still works.

"Is that an order Captain?" Elliot is smiling at me, but it doesn't reach his eyes. His smiles never do anymore, not even when he's with his children. When Olivia left, his heart was ripped from his chest and the color drained from his world.

I smile back weakly, thankful that he is a good enough actor to create a realistic façade. "You bet your ass it is." He grabs his coat and checks his watch.

"It's five, I'll see you in three." I wave goodbye and walk back to my office, reveling in the quiet atmosphere today. Nothing has happened in the past few days and Munch and Fin spent the day in court. I told them to debrief me in the morning.

I spent about a half an hour flipping through the scrap book I keep hidden away inside the bottom drawer of my desk. It's filled with pictures of the whole gang. While I'm looking through it, I realize that I haven't added a single picture since Olivia left. Probably because I don't want to admit to myself that she's gone. New Year's Eve is just around the corner, and everything is slightly chilly but I feel a small trickle of warmth filter through my body while I look at the pictures from all the times our unit had little parties.

I try to bite back a smile when I notice that the first picture in the book was from our welcome-to-the-squad party for Olivia.

I barely heard the bull-pen door screech open. I really should thank Munch and Fin for oiling the hinges someday. A tall, thin woman wrapped in a black pea-coat stepped into the squad room. She has a hat pulled down to cover most of her face in shadows, the only color on her was a bright red scarf slung around her neck. It reminded me of something Olivia might wear and I stood from my desk.

"Can I help you?" I asked, sincerely hoping that this woman was lost and not here to report anything.

She glanced up at me and smiled. "Does a detective Elliot Stabler work here?"

I nodded, "Yes," she let out a light breath and bit her bottom lip, "He's not here now though, he's got the afternoon off. Do you need to report a rape? Or are you a girlfriend that he never told me about?"

She let out a light laugh and for some reason a felt the urge to chuckle with her.

"Oh God no, I wasn't raped. My Mom was though, but that was a long time ago. As for being Detective Stabler's girlfriend, let's just say that my situation at home doesn't really allow for boyfriends not to mention my job doesn't either."

"Oh really," it was easy to talk to this woman. I found myself ushering her into my office and offering her a seat. "What do you do for a living?"

She shrugged, "I'm kind of between jobs right now," she admitted, "I used to be a cop. I worked with the best group of guys ever, then some stuff came up and I became a kindergarten teacher because the real one was on maternity leave for a few months."

"Where did you teach?" I briefly wondered if all my questions were unnerving her, but she answered good naturedly.

"I taught in a private school in New Jersey, up in Princeton, not ten minutes from the university." She clasped her hands and placed them under her chin, another habit that Olivia also had.

"Were you a cop in Princeton?" I wanted to know more about this woman, she was intriguing.

She shook her head, "Actually I was part of the NYPD, and I just pissed off some high and mighty people."

"Holy shit," I muttered under my breath as something in my head clicked. "You want to take your hat off Detective?"

I saw the smile dance across her face and I felt the urge to grab her and twirl her around,

"I was wondering when you would ask," she paused and put her hand to her hat to pull it off, "Captain,"

As much as I'd suspected it at first, there were no signs; with Alex it was almost obvious. When she came back to testify, it was one of those moments we all knew would come eventually. Olivia being in the Witness Protection Program was something I had told myself just because I didn't want to believe that she was dead.

"Are you back to stay?" I didn't really want to voice my thoughts, afraid of her answer but needing to hear her say yes.

She nodded, "I've already re-received my badge but I'm not sure which units have openings right now! I guess I'll see you around then Don,"

She pulled her hat back on and started for the door to my office but I jumped up to follow her, "Hey Olivia," I said, breathing her name aloud while talking to her felt so good. "How would you like your old job back?"

"You mean would I like to work with the 1-6 again?" she grinned jauntily, "You bet Mr. Boss Sir."

I couldn't help but laugh at her words and pointed to her old desk. "Not just back at the 1-6," I stated, "Back with Detective Stabler." Her jaw dropped considerably and I smiled at her expression.

"I'd love to Captain, but I don't want to put his partner out of a job." She always was to honest for her own good.

"He doesn't have a partner, Olivia," was all I said in response,

"But, the desk…its occupied" she was stumbling over her words, trying to figure everything out. I chuckled and pulled out her chair.

"Have a seat Liv," she slumped into it and I recognized the expression on her face. She was home.

Olivia slowly ran her fingers over the familiar indentations on the desk and found a thick layer of dust. She glanced up at me slowly and I just nodded in the direction of her files. She picked each one up carefully and read through her own handwriting, tears forming after she put each one down. For a moment, I was afraid she was remembering how tough this job was and was having second thoughts about returning.

When she spoke her voice was barely above a whisper, "It's all the same." She choked, picking up the green mug and cradling it against her body. Her eyes met mine and I realized that this must be what Elliot felt like. I could read her question without having to hear her ask it.

"It was Elliot's idea." I muttered to her, once she had put the mug down and realized that her old password still worked on the computer. "He went through eleven partners in the first month after you left and fourteen the second. After that, we gave up and he worked with Munch or Fin."

"Why did he go through so many?" she asked me and I feel a smile tugging at my mouth.

"Because none of them were you!" I said, as though stating the obvious, and I am.

I could see the tears behind her eyes that were threatening to spill over, and I damned the choked out sob in my voice. That was not the moment to have a break down even if Olivia would have gotten a good laugh out of it. I worked my jaw in slow circles to take my mind off of my emotions. Damn, I'm definitely not a soft guy and I was near tears. I briefly wonder how this will affect Elliot. I watch her slowly stand from the chair and push it in, before she trails her hand along the edge. Her fingers encountered the small split between her old desk and Elliot's and I heard her breath catch in her throat.

"I better go," she mumbled, pulling her hand away as though she were burned, or slapped.

I gave her a soft smile, "okay," I nodded. "I'm seeing Elliot later tonight; I'll tell him that he's got a new partner coming in."

Our eyes met and I could tell she knew I wouldn't tell him it was her. Some part of me wanted to invite her to join us boys while we talked shop, but the rest wanted to see Elliot's reaction when he came to work the next day grumbling about female rookies. I jotted down a mental note to bring in Krispy Kreme doughnuts to celebrate Olivia's return. I believe her favorite kind was Boston Crème, with chocolate covering. Same as Elliot. I had to admit that they aren't bad; I'm just more of an apple fritter kind of guy myself. Besides, I already know Alcoholics Anonymous, Chocoholics Anonymous doesn't need to be graced with my presence as well.

"Thanks Captain," she touches my knuckles with her long finger. "I'll be in early tomorrow."

She started to walk away but my hand instinctively grabbed her wrist and gently tugged her back to me. I felt the familiar paternal bond kick in as I pulled her into a loose hug, and hoped to dear God that she never leaves her detective family again. Olivia hugged me back tightly before she gave a light chuckle.

"If you don't let me go Don, Elliot will think you stood him up." The thought of Elliot pissed off, drunk, and emotionally unstable, was enough to get me to release her.

"It's good to have you back Benson!" I added a point to Elliot's column when she didn't correct the last name. I knew Elliot would hate having to share his partner with another man, even if Olivia were head over heels in love with him.

She turned to leave, but I had one more question. "How the hell did you not crack without seeing us?"

She laughed lightly but didn't face me again. "I did crack," her voice was muffled against her scarf. "So I came and hid in the shadows to watch my family." Then she was gone, the glass door softly thudding shut.

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tbc.

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	2. Underneath the Cover

Disclaimer: They aren't mine. I wish i owned Elliot though! I guess i'll settle with writing about him instead.

A/N: thanks to all who reviewed. Sorry to SVUlover, and Roxie Hart1, for making you cry, and to jmewebber for getting you hooked. Fanfictions Anonymous is a wonderful thing.

Seth Cohen's girlfriend- no Olivia is not married, it's just kind of like saying that it's good for Elliot that she's not because he would be ultra jealous!

Bite Beccy- here's an update so i think my butt doesn't need to be kicked right now! Shrinks are awesome! Especially George Huang! to bad he isn't my shrink: (

LadyV77- poor Elliot, poor poor Elliot! Muahahahahaha!

oh yeah, this is in Elliot's POV

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The Domino Effect

Chapter 2

Underneath the Cover **-**

I don't know why I kept her desk the same way it always was. Captain gave me a week off after her death, but I only took a day. No one wanted to touch her desk for a while, as if by leaving it the same she would come back.

When I first saw her space after the murder, I had every intention of packing it all away in large boxes and never seeing it again. A smudge of her subtly colored lipstick painted the lip of her coffee mug and I remember rubbing my thumb across the make up, imagining that it was her mouth I was touching. Since the beginning I had fought the unwanted attraction I had towards her. Now I can't help but think that my feelings would have been less hectic if we had slept together versus what I was feeling then.

I know I was a pain in the ass for everybody. I wouldn't eat much, and I was hardly ever sleeping unless I was in the crib. I was unusually tense, throwing things wasn't odd, and I know that my coworkers avoided me as much as possible. It was as if a monster was unleashed from inside of me and I couldn't stop it from eating the people I cared about.

"Elliot," my captain's voice was distant, "why don't you go home and get some rest." I propped up my feet and closed Olivia's murderer's file. Thoughts were running through my head, thoughts that I let loose.

"You know cap, I always held on to a shred of hope that she was alive. That she was in Witness Protection Program with Alex, and would come back when we caught the bastard who shot her. It's been a couple of months though and that little candle has all but burned out." I resisted the urge to slam my hand over my mouth, shocked that my mind had let me speak.

So instead I stood, preparing to take 'flight' rather than 'fight', offering a small half smile to hide the emotions running through my eyes. He steps towards me then, a single hand stretched out to comfort me. But I'm beyond help; I'm stuck at the bottom of a dark well, clawing desperately at the circular, stone, sides to get out.

"I used to tell myself the same thing too," he mumbles, "Meet me at O'Malley's for drinks at 8"

I fake a smile and realize that that's what I do now. I fake. Hollywood is going to snatch me up one day for all these promising lies I tell myself and everyone else. "Is that an order?" I wonder, noticing that again, my mouth spoke without my permission.

He studies my face for a minute and I mask my eyes, hoping that he doesn't notice the lie hidden inside me. "You bet your ass it is!"

I would have replied with a witty comeback if it had been Olivia, but I know Cragen will fry me alive if I don't show up. Either that or he'll come and break down my door, search warrant or not.

I rattled off some shit about the time and when I'll see him and make a bee-line for the door, hoping that he doesn't think I'm desperate for some time alone. Hell, if he knew how much I wanted to be alone he'd probably think that I was going to eat my gun. Cragen doesn't have to worry about my state of mind though; I died when my partner did.

I'm good at my job. I can run after sick bastards on the street, I can make them crack under my heavy stares in the interrogation room. That was all written in the job description, the unwritten part is to have your partner's back. I miserably failed at the last one. IAB can't grab my badge for it, and I can't be charged with manslaughter, but I have to live with my partner's death for ever.

I somehow found my way back to my apartment, noting that I had about three hours before I had to meet Cragen. My jeans blocked the cold from getting through to the lower half of my body, but my hands were nearly numb against the steering wheel. My gloves were in hiding, most likely inside the sofa cushions, I'd have to dig them up when I got home.

I slumped into my apartment, tossing my jacket onto the coffee table. I kicked the door shut behind me. It occurred to me that I haven't shut the door with my hands in a while, I always kick it shut. It's just another way to relieve my anger. I pealed my gray, t-shirt over my head and head into the bathroom. Right now, I need a blast of icy water to wake me up.

I turned the water pressure up as high as it goes and stepped under the needles of water. I almost feel droplets of blood pulse down my broad back from the force of the water. I keep my eyes open when I step under the spray, ignoring the sting that accompanied my actions. I'm afraid that I'll see her face if I close my eyes. Maybe that's the reason I sleep with the lights on now.

The cold is starting to loose its edge so I cranked the shower off and wrapped a fluffy towel around my waist. Water droplets cling to my chest for dear life and they roll slowly down my skin when I take a deep breath. Ignoring the stream forming in my wake, I made my way back into my bedroom.

I grabbed a white muscle shirt and pulled a green, button down over it, opting for a pair of black jeans. I wasn't in a good-boy mood. I checked my watch, 6:30. Time inched by, seconds turning into hours, this always happened when I was waiting for something. There wasn't enough time to get out a book, and working out was a no since I just took a shower. I flipped on the radio and sat on my bed, staring hard at an old picture.

I was surprised I still had it. It was a candid shot of Olivia and I wrestling. Munch took it during her welcome party when we first met. Our unit has an initiation rite for all new detectives and Olivia, although female, was no exception. The new partner had to pretend to pick the pocket of the newcomer and we would watch how they reacted. I have to say Olivia had class. I remember it all very well.

"_Stabler," Captain Donald Cragen called to me, while I waltzed towards the coffee machine. "I want you to meet your new partner!" _

_Munch sniggered, "Are we adding **another** old geezer to the crew Cap?" His partner Brian Cassidy shot him a scathing look before I could and Cragen shook his head. _

"_She's definitely younger than you, Munch!" our Captain replied, chuckling slightly when I started to choke on my hot beverage. _

_Brian Cassidy tried not to collapse laughing. _

_Cragen ignored all of our antics, "Detective Benson," he called into his office, "Come meet your crazy coworkers." He said crazy like an insult and I rolled my eyes, preparing for a slightly chubby, middle-aged, gray-haired, hag. I think meeting Olivia was the biggest shock of my life, bigger than finding out that Kathy was expecting twins after Kathleen. _

_When Olivia walked into the bull-pen, she carried an air of irrepressible confidence with her. Her hair fell to her shoulders, neatly framing her face. It was sleek and shiny, and I longed to run my rough fingers through the silky strands. She gave us all the once over before turning back to look at the Captain. _

"_Are you sure I can't work with you?" she asked, no doubt payback for the previous conversation she'd overheard. _

_Munch guffawed loudly at her words. "Well, have fun Elliot." He chuckled at the death glare I shot at him before extending his hand towards my new partner. _

"_Detective John Munch," he offered, she took his hand and smiled slowly._

"_Olivia Benson," she replied, letting his hand fall before taking Brain's. _

"_D-Detective Brian Cassidy," he stuttered, letting his eyes roam over her lithe body. _

_I stepped forward to cut off the look she was giving Munch's partner._

_I caught her eyes and almost felt my heart stop. They were big and brown with every emotion clearly visible behind her pupils. For a split second I thought I read a forbidden emotion in their dark depths but it was gone in a second. I tore my gaze away and it landed on her outstretched hand. I grasped it firmly in my own and felt tingles spread from my fingers to my stomach._

"_Hello Partner," she grinned at me, gently lilting me back into reality. The term was welcome from her. _

"_Hi," my voice was too raspy. I cleared my throat. "I'm Elliot, Elliot Stabler" _

"_Nice to meet you Elliot!" her grin faltered as her eyes dropped to my left hand. I had brought it up to cover our clasped hands and I knew she had seen my wedding band. _

_Cragen noticed everything. "Your initiation will be sometime today," he told her, quickly trying to break the uneasy silence that had sprouted from nowhere. _

_She took her warm hand away and raised an eyebrow at our commanding officer. _

"_Isn't hazing illegal?" her mellifluous voice questioned. Brain laughed. _

"_Yes, but this doesn't count!" she laughed too and I felt a small bite of jealousy in the pit of stomach. _

_She turned to talk quietly to Don again and Munch discreetly nodded at me. Her wallet wasn't in her pocket so I decided to improvise. She had two, slightly chewed pens in the back pocket of her jeans. _

_I reached a tentative hand forwards and grabbed the cap of the first one between my thumb and forefinger. It was smooth and black except for where small indentations were made by her teeth. I pulled it out of the pocket and started to turn around when a hand grabbed my wrist. Her arm shoved my shoulders forward so I was bent over the floor and her hand on my wrist twisted my arm up around my back. She pushed her knee into my chest and I dropped the pen. She let go. _

_I struggled for breath as I regained my balance and I backed behind Munch. _

"_Wow," I whispered, watching her re-pocket the pen. "She's good!" _

_Cragen was chuckling softly and she turned to face me. _

"_Sorry, Detective Stabler. Did I hurt you?" her voice was mockingly challenging and I stepped forwards again. I shook my head, refusing to admit defeat to my rookie, female partner. _

"_If that's all, I think we should get to work!" she commented, shooting me a piercing glance. I nodded and pulled out her desk chair, straining for any plus marks I could gain. _

_What I didn't know at the time, was that Munch had taken a picture of me getting my ass kicked. _

The ride to the bar was quick. I took the subway, not wanting to drive when I had the potential to be drunk later. Cragen was already sitting on a stool with a soft drink when I slid past the bouncer. I had always wondered what it would be like to have that kind of job.

There was something going on. Cragen looked worn out and tired, like he knew he was going to be picking a fight, but there was a sly twinkle in his eye that gave me the feeling it would be against me, and that he would win. He took another sip while I ordered a beer at the bar and pulled up a stool.

He didn't look at me at first and I wondered why, I knew when he spoke.

"I got you a new partner for tomorrow!" I immediately went on the defensive.

"Who is he?" I asked, hoping he knew better than to give me another female partner.

Cragen shook his head. "She," he corrected and my rage started to take over.

I gave him a steely glare. "What are you talking about?" I tried to quench the urge to throw a good punch at something, preferably the wooden bar.

"She's good, you'll like her!" was all he said in response.

The adrenaline rushed faster. I pulled back the last of my beer and watched a lady refill it without question. "Captain," I said, trying to choke back my anger, "Last time I had a female partner, I called her Olivia so many times that she quit the same day."

Cragen nodded. "I know," he stated, my anger was ebbing away to be replaced by extreme hurt. I felt like an abandoned puppy that nobody wanted anymore.

"You're a good detective Elliot, I can't have you working desks forever."

I nodded, my body and brain going numb.

"Look alive tomorrow, I can't have the crap beaten out of you again!" he hissed before slapping down some cash for our drinks. "Come on I'll take you home."

I stood with him, barely acknowledging the phone number shoved into my hand by the scantily clad woman behind the bar. She winked at me and Cragen dragged me out. I wasn't drunk on alcohol, I was drunk on my own emotions.

Cragen drove to my apartment in silence. He let me out, handing me a large book before driving off. I dug my keys out of my pocket and buzzed myself into the building, taking the elevator to the third floor. I jammed the key into the lock and pushed the door open with my shoulder, not allowing my eyes to leave, the red, homemade scrap book in my arms. Again, I kicked the door closed and sat heavily on the couch.

I opened the cover and felt my emotions begin to drown me again as I looked at picture after picture of Olivia Benson.

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tbc. 


	3. It All Falls Down

Disclaimer: They're not mine! that's news to me! pout>

A/N: thanks to all who reviewed.

CKS24: there are three kinds of ppl in the world, those who can count, and those who can't. can you guess which kind i am? jk

Seth Cohen's girlfriend: sorry that you almost cried! Again! want a hanky?

Touchstone: good to know that you actually want to know more. I wish i had known what was gonna happen when i wrote it!

Dreamer7182002: YAY! it was liked! it was something fun and fluffy! me gusta fluff!

jmewebber: i feel bad. like i just stabbed him or something. But it'll all heal by the end! Don't worry!

LandofShadows: Girly, you reviewed! I was afraid people would be mad about the POV change! I hope they're not cuz here's another! See ya later!

SVUlover: Please don't cry, this is supposed to be romance not angst. Although since i almost cried while writing it, that could be because i was sitting in my dusty living room, i shouldn't be talking.

LadyV77: oh i luuuuuuuv torturing Elliot! he's so lovable and stuff that then you want to comfort him! besides if he can torture us everyday on the show, why can't i torture him? jk

Traci: Thank you for the compliment. I am cruel aren't I! Don't worry fireworks are definitely in the future!

gqfan4life11: your wish is my command. well not really, but here's your update.

Jessica: i know, me too!

Historynut (Brikyzbabe: if i right SVU romance, it is a mandate that it has to go OE, otherwise i'll have to hold myself in contempt! you really think it's inventive and unusual? YAY

oh yeah, this is in Olivia's POV btw. this is also the last chapter! tear>

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The Domino Effect

Chapter 3

It All Falls Down-

It's a very odd feeling to be in hiding. To be commanded to keep who you are from the world around you, but desperately wanting life to return to normal so that you can do what you want, when you want. Of course, when and if it ends, every move you make is under a microscope. Coworkers tread on eggshells and treat you like a very expensive porcelain doll that already has a large crack through the beautiful, outer mask. It's now, while under deep scrutiny, that I wish hiding was once again an option.

It doesn't help that I feel guilty for leaving them. I didn't take the detail I was offered, and Elliot knew, thanks to our encounter with a perp named Plummer years back, that putting a detail on me without my knowledge was a very dangerous idea. Half of my mind screams that I was a cop and was well equipped to handle myself; the other half whispers that I tore apart a whole unit because my damn pride wouldn't let me accept help when it was offered.

I was terrified when I found myself hailing a taxi to the precinct. I was allowed in without question, and while riding the elevator up, it occurred to me that the whole squad was probably there, right now. I wasn't in the mood for welcome parties so I waited by the glass doors. My hair is longer now, back to its original color, and I tugged my hat down over my eyes and nose. I can see them but they can't see me.

Only Elliot and Cragen are inside, Munch and Fin are out of sight and their personal belongings aren't in view. Elliot is flipping through a file, eyes narrowed into deadly slits. Whoever his partner is, they sure have a lot of work left, I note, scanning my eyes over the mountainous pile on what used to be my desk. The coffee mug looks very familiar and I watch him pick it off of the other desk and skim his finger tip along the rim. His eyes involuntarily close and he puts the cup back down. My lips tingle slightly and I wish I could feel my partner's, no, ex-partner's fingers touch my mouth. What the hell? I push my thought away.

Cragen steps into the squad-room and hovers over Elliot, they speak softly, Cragen picking up the file once Elliot has put it down. His eyes blaze briefly and I can tell that the case is personal. I wish I could get my eager hands on that file. I watch as Elliot stands and grabs his things, hurrying to the door. With a jolt, I realize he is headed straight for me and my heart pounds through my chest.

He bangs the door open and I jump backwards. The slam of the door against the frame makes me flinch involuntarily and Elliot shoots a glance in my direction, noticing the small tremors shaking my spine. I sink my teeth into my lower lip to bit back the sob threatening to escape. I hadn't counted on seeing him like this.

From under my cover, I see his eyes widen. His gaze washes over me, taking in the dark coat and spicy scarf. He takes a quick step towards me, hand outstretched.

"Olivia?" his voice is stretched tight, like a rubber band right before it snaps in two. Without meaning to, I take a step away from his hand.

His eyes cloud over again and he turns away. "Sorry miss, I-" he struggles with the words, "I thought you were someone else." His tone indicates that he truly believes that he made a mistake.

I watch him walk away from me, his shoulders are slumped and he doesn't have the jaunty bounce I'm so used to. I wonder quickly if my accident did that to him before I shove the thought out of my mind. I slump back against the wall and close my eyes for a moment, waiting till the lighted number above the elevator blinks 1. Then I'm sure he's gone.

I lean against the wall and patiently collect my thoughts, The young man standing at the end of the hall keeps trying to catch my eye and when he does he winks. I roll my eyes back and turn away trying to show that I'm not interested. He takes my hint and leaves, pushing the door to the stairs open and heading down them at a breakneck pace. It was an act I'd seen many times before. Either a perp had seen my badge and had taken off, or when Elliot gave guys the hairy eyeball for checking me out.

I take a deep breath and push open the door. It doesn't squeak anymore, I notice, wondering when it was fixed. Cragen was back in his office, sitting at his desk and leafing through a large book. He jumps up when he notices me.

"Can I help you?" he sounds sincere, but I can hear a tired edge, where under the surface he is hoping I will just leave him alone.

Not wanting to clue him in to who I am I look down at the floor, "Does a Detective Elliot Stabler work here?"

"Yes," he nods, and I bite my lip hard enough to draw blood. "He's not here now though, he's got the afternoon off. Do you need to report a rape? Or are you a girlfriend that he never told me about?"

I can't stop the small chuckle that bursts forth, Elliot's girlfriend? God I wish. I mean, now that I'm no longer his partner, maybe I can test our connection.

"Oh God no, I wasn't raped. My Mom was though, but that was a long time ago. As for being Detective Stabler's girlfriend, let's just say that my situation at home doesn't really allow for boyfriends not to mention my job doesn't either." I answer, trying to cover my laugh.

"Oh really," I can tell he doesn't want to laugh too, "What do you do for a living?"

I shrugged, "I'm kind of between jobs right now," I admitted, "I used to be a cop. I worked with the best group of guys ever, then some stuff came up and I became a kindergarten teacher because the real one was on maternity leave for a few months." I feel my eyes twinkle underneath my hat.

"Where did you teach?" I look at him carefully, wondering if he's learned to question everyone like this. If so, he'd make a damn good lawyer.

"I taught in a private school in New Jersey, up in Princeton, not ten minutes from the university." I clasped her hands and placed them under mychin, another habit that I can't break, no matter how hard I try.

He leans forward slightly, "Were you a cop in Princeton?" I was intriguing him.

I shook my head, "Actually I was part of the NYPD, and I just pissed off some high and mighty people."

"Holy shit," I hear him mutter under his breath, and my grin intensifies. He knows. "You want to take your hat off Detective?"

I saw the smile dance across his face and I felt the urge to hug him tight,

"I was wondering when you would ask," I reach to pull my hat off, "Captain,"

"Are you back to stay?" I can hear that he is afraid I'll say no.

I shrug, "I've already re-received my badge but I'm not sure which units have openings right now! I guess I'll see you around then Don,"

I stand to leave, "Hey Olivia," he calls after me, his words making my heart jump through the roof with joy. "How would you like your old job back?"

"You mean would I like to work with the 1-6 again?" I grinned jauntily, "You bet Mr. Boss Sir."

He chuckles quietly and turns his head towards Elliot's partner's desk. "Not just back at the 1-6," I hear him say, "Back with Detective Stabler." I feel my mouth hang open in shock.

"I'd love to Captain, but I don't want to put his partner out of a job." As much as it kills me, I don't have the right to hurt anyone else.

"He doesn't have a partner, Olivia," was all the response I got,

"But, the desk…its occupied" I was stumbling over my words, trying to figure everything out. Leaning around me, he pulled out my chair.

"Have a seat Liv," I slump heavily into the chair examining everything that had once belonged to me.

"It's all the same." I mumble, hardly able to understand why.

"It was Elliot's idea." Cragen confirms my thoughts, "He went through eleven partners in the first month after you left and fourteen the second. After that, we gave up and he worked with Munch or Fin."

"Why did he go through so many?" I ask, thinking that I might just know the answer.

"Because none of them were you!" He sounds like he's stating the obvious. He is.

"I better go," I mutter, knowing that if I stay my tears will take over.

He smiles stiffly "okay," I nodded. "I'm seeing Elliot later tonight; I'll tell him that he's got a new partner coming in."

"Thanks Captain," he won't say who I am and I'm grateful, that's my job.

Before I can walk away, he pulls me into a paternal hug, breathing in the scent of my hair and I can feel him smile.

"If you don't let me go Don, Elliot will think you stood him up." The thought of Elliot pissed off, drunk, and emotionally unstable, was enough to get him to release me.

"It's good to have you back Benson!" Everything feels normal, like I never left.

He asks a few more heavy questions and I ignore my answers, trying to get out of the precinct.

I curl up into a ball that night, hugging my knees to my chest under the covers and picturing Elliot's eyes beneath my dark lashes. My sleep is fitful, plagued by thoughts of Elliot not forgiving me, blaming me for leaving, hating me for my bad decisions.

My alarm clock is shrill the next morning and I hastily shower and pull my hair back into a short ponytail. I feel weird pulling my navy NYPD t-shirt on over my head. It definitely shrunk in the wash and now fits snugly and beautifully. I tuck it into my low-riser jeans and pull on my black trench coat, making sure to lock the door behind me.

I walk through the bull-pen and into Cragen's office, thankful that no one is there yet. I barely sat my butt on the seat when the door swings open and I hear Munch and Fin chatting. I feel a warmth spread through my limbs dispite the first snowfall from last night. Cragen shoots me a fatherly smile and steps into the room; I immediately stand and start pacing back and forth, wearing a hole into the tile.

A few minutes go by and my heart stops when I hear the door again. Pulling up the blinds with my finger, I watch Elliot storm into the room, obviously extremely ticked off. He glares at Cragen, and takes a sip of the coffee he is holding.

"Elliot," I hear my captain call, "Are you okay?"

I see him nod his head slowly and I itch to wrap him into a large hug.

"Want to meet your new partner?" his head jerks up at Cragen's words and I place my hand on the doorknob.

He shrugs and that's good enough for me. I let the door swing open and step into the room, keeping my head down facing the ground. I hear Munch and Fin's intake of breath and a raise my face to notice that Elliot's cheeks are deathly pale.

I reach out my hand and give him a half smile. "Hey," I barely whisper.

That's all I need to say before he launches himself at me. Elliot's arms are warm, and his breath is soft on my neck. I part my lips slowly, not even realizing I had done so until I felt a hot mouth on mine. Elliot started to pull away but I reached my hand to cradle the back of his neck, pulling him closer.

Everything I had ever heard was true. Fire works practically exploded behind my eyes and his tongue slipped into my mouth, letting me taste the small bit of coffee he had consumed earlier. He smelled the same as ever and I felt my gut clench pleasantly with the feeling of coming home. We broke apart for air slowly and he rested his forehead against mine.

"Don't move," he whispered when I started to pull away slowly,

"As soon as I move everything will fall down!" I whisper back, feeling him pull me into him even more.

"Like dominos." Elliot mumbles in response, letting his fingers toy with the silky ends of her ponytail.

I had never thought of it like that before. When one thing goes wrong, everything follows until everything around you is up in flames. It's what shrinks like to call the domino effect and Elliot and I were not prepared to face it all over again.

"Have any of you seen Elliot?" Cragen asked Munch and Fin, trying to hide the joy in his voice. "He has to meet his new partner."

"Haven't seen him anywhere," Fin added, catching on. "Haven't seen what he's been up to either!" he winked.

I pulled away from Elliot to glance at them, catching a twenty dollar bill passing between Munch and Fin. Cragen grinned. I shot Munch a look.

He cleared his throat ceremoniously, "Fin bet me twenty bucks that you were still alive, I bet him that the best thing that had ever happened to you was right under your nose."

My eyes started to burn with the need to shed my tears and I felt Elliot's hands on my waist. Leaning forwards he whispered hotly into my ear.

"Looks like the dominos fell up."

The tears started to stream down my cheeks as each and every person in the bull-pen at that moment came forward to envelope me into a monstrous group hug.

"The domino effect wins again!" I whispered back to him, before pressing my lips to his in a soft, promising, kiss.

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THE END

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End file.
